Champagne is a vitamin, right?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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