my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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