that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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