He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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