do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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