I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
