Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
