belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
