These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
