i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
