white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels