If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.