In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
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You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.