I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
