No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
