whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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