i was born a porn star she said
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
