I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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