he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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