she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
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Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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