Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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