It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
