cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
