I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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