let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
