he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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