The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
