Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
