Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
