So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
