I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
