She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
