Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
