I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
