in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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