That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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