oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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