That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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