Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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