If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
