the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
