You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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