I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
