got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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