Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
