I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
