break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize