Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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