Nicole vs. Life
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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