i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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