i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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