its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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