All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
