I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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