eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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