Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
