woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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